Well it’s been a while, but the NET year is over. I can’t
believe it’s been over a month since I’ve seen the people who really became my
family on the road. Looking back, I can see that this last year has been
transformative. I expected to go and serve the young people of Ireland. I
expected to see God move, if only in the small ways. But the one thing that did
not cross my mind was how I was going to change personally. God had a lot to
teach me this year, and each thing made me a slightly better person.
Here are some of those little, but important things:
1)
Do I really need that fourth t-shirt?
Around this time last year, I was about to
embark on my first NET adventure and I wanted to be ready! Now I’m a really
good packer; I know how to fit a lot in my suitcase and not use too much space.
Then during of the year on the road team, almost everything was weighing me
down. Maybe if I really did need everything I packed it would not have bothered
me so much, but the fact was that I didn’t. Obviously I need to have clothes,
but I do not need all the extra t-shirts I brought. That’s just not with a
traveling lifestyle, but just living in the world today. Now that I’ve come
home, I’ve even could go through my things and ask if I REALLY need them. The
answer is, mostly, I don’t. I’ve realized that there’s a few things I’ve been
holding onto just to hold on to. I think it’s just a side effect of the
consumer culture I live in. There’s still a lot of room for growth, but I’m
much less attached to material items than I used to be. And so I’m more free to
do whatever it is I’m actually supposed to be doing with life.
2)
Love people where they are at.
This was perhaps the most important aspect
I learned about being a missionary. We love because Christ loves us (1 John),
but not everybody knows that he even loves us. Or agrees that it’s true. And
you know what? That’s ok. Or it’s not, but that does not make them any less of
God’s children or any less worthy of my love. As Christian people, we’re called
to love those who are listening to us and agree with us just as much as the
people who are trying to undermine everything we do. Anything less is putting a
condition on our love, and that COMPLETELY defeats the purpose. And you know
what? I’m sure we have all been that person present who does not want to be
there and does not care. Wouldn’t we want somebody who cares about us?
3)
Being honest is being strong.
As a part of being with NET, my team was
given a very specific structure for life together. Team Life is what helps
build us up and makes what we do possible. It helps us have Jesus in a way that
we can give Him to people. Your team is there for you in the ups and downs.
They are there to give support both during retreats and during personal life.
I’ve learned to be very independent. I never even liked to do group projects in
school because I’d have to depend on somebody else to do the part. This year,
that just was not possible. I had to rely on my team and tell them about
different challenges I was facing. Some of those were just talent based, and
some people were much better at fulfilling a need than I was. Some of those
challenges were emotional and I needed to lean on my teammates for support. I
learned to trust a lot more, and that vulnerability is much braver than
sticking it out on my own.
4)
Ability is a cheap imitation of worth.
I wish I could say that I coined this
phrase, but that would be a lie on the world-wide web, and I’m just not into
that. Anyway, we live in a world where your worth is what you do. In schools,
people are praised for what they are good at, and people who don’t have
demonstrable talents just fly under the radar. Colleges give money to people
who they think will make them look good, placing a numerical worth on these
talents. When you get out to the real world, those who can do more tend to be
paid more. I know why things happen this way, but I honestly think there are
psychological implications. I think sometimes we take the number paced on our
talents, whether it be good or bad, and carry it over to our own worth as individuals.
We’re only as good as whatever it is we’re good it. I know I fall into this
trap a lot. This year though, I was reminded that I am not a sum total of what
I can or cannot do. My worth comes from the fact that the creator of the
universe, my God, came down from heaven and chose to die on a cross rather than
lose me. And it’s not about what we do for Him. It’s just that we ARE.
5)
I THOUGHT I had a relationship with God.
This isn’t to say that I never prayed. Before
NET I went to Mass and spent some time on my own praying and trying to build a
relationship. I’d even say I was relatively honest, and I was able to be led by
God to NET in Ireland. However, This year I learned to have a real
relationship, and sometimes that involves disagreements. Now, when you’re
disagreeing with the Lord of the Universe, well, it’s a pretty safe bet that
you’re not in the right in that circumstance. But this year I was much more
open to God moving in my life than I ever have been before. Part of that
openness was being honest about what I thought about it. He didn’t create me
just to robotically go along with whatever he says. He created me with free
will so I could freely choose him. However, with that comes the choice to
disagree. But he loved me through it and helped me get to the point where I
could say “Lord, I don’t have any idea what you’re thinking. But I’ll do it.
And I’ll do the best I can.”
I thank you all again for reading! I leave for Ireland again
on July 28th, so please pray for my safe journey and for a good
year!
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| Until next year!!!!! <3 |
